Love addiction and online dating
You become very needy and smother your partner; you find it impossible to say no to your partner; you deny and sacrifice your own needs and wants; you feel jealous and possessive and compelled to check up on your partner; your relationships with family and friends will tend to suffer and you let go of other interests 5.When you are not in a relationship you daydream about love a lot, to the exclusion of other interests and hobbies – either about partners you have had – replaying times you were together or dreaming about new love affairs either with real people or imagined; feel terrified that you will never find a partner; believe that being in love is more important than anything; feel terrible loneliness and will often seek out a new partner just to avoid this feeling; obsess about finding a new partner and pursue this aim to the exclusion of all else.The solution Pia Melody author of ‘Facing Love Addiction – giving yourself the power to change the way you love’ gives detailed guidance on ways to recover from love addiction.
She reasons that if Anastasia could find such a deep romantic intensity with Christian, then she can find the perfect man too. Plus, her ability to self-soothe with romantic fantasies about Anastasia and Christian (or about herself and whomever it is that she met and fell for that day) is what gets her through her life.
The partner The people love addicts are attracted to all seem to have one thing in common – they are unable or unwilling, to respond to the single minded devotion the love addict places on him or her.
The more unresponsive this person is the more intense the love addict’s feelings become and they experience increasing amounts of pain, frustration and self-defeating behaviours as the relationship progresses.
The love addict There are certain characteristics that define a love addict and the most recognisable one is that they seem to have a mental obsession with the object of their affection.
This obsession can become so extreme that they neglect to care for themselves in healthy ways and attach their value and self worth to this person’s response to them – feeling good when they are attached and bereft when they are not.